Thursday, 5 February 2009

all's fair in love and scripted television drama.

Gossip Girl

this week on
the greatest show of our time, the plot lines were shallow, the homages were stale, but the coats were fabulous. i desperately missed eric, eleanor waldorf, and any semblance of a chuck/blair plot.

let's see...

truer than a PTA meeting about the abuse of the internet:
  • yeah, ok, dan would totally have the hots for the infantile english teacher. womp womp. plus 2.
  • i am going to disagree with nymag, of course dorota would be wearing her maid cap even while disguised. plus 5.
  • i don't know about your high school, but in mine there were PTA meetings for literally everything. nasty things being written on the internet? obvs. plus 10.
  • all the guys in high school would totally be applauding the dorky guy for getting with a teacher. plus 10.
  • OMFG, chuck + v for reals???? plus 20 if and only if this is a real, undoctored photo. otherwise i still think he's gayer than a picnic basket.
faker than blair ever suggesting oberlin as a viable college choice, even as a joke:
  • serena's writing is "nuanced" and "filled with observations of the world around her"? yeah, if the reason she held off on handing it in was that she made her private english tutor write it for her. minus 10.
  • the school has always known about the terrible things being written on gossip girl, but never did anything because "the kids didn't complain"? umm... no, i don't think so. minus 30.
  • how the hell do both serena and dan know where rachel lives? minus 50.
  • why the hell would a teacher accused of inappropriate relations with a student be out at night in a restaurant alone with said student? minus 100.
  • re: the final scene of dan/rachel... um... is he 18 yet? minus 5.
  • ok i know this is a tv show, but how is it that serena always manages to call dan .003498435 seconds too late to stop him from doing something stupid with some probably crazy, oversexed chick? minus 20.
  • chuck's eyes wide shut plot line. what was up with that chick holding the huge tapered candle?! minus 50.


now on to my other tv obsession... LOST. i've gotta agree with the folks over at the lost diary, this season has been rather disappointing. i was, however, thrilled that jin is still alive. i still think my theory about farraday's mom is true, but that wasn't explored at all in this episode. i now also think that miles is dr. candle's son (re: the baby in the first episode of this season) and i also think that charlotte is widmore's illegitimate daughter. i think both of them were either born, conceived, or lived on the island when they were babies. i was also thrilled to see young danielle rousseau on the island! i wonder if the fate of rousseau, the child she is carrying (re: alex), and jin might somehow change now that they have interacted back in time. what i'm thinking will ultimately happen is that all flight 815ers are going to have to be alive/reunited in order to time travel to the present and leave the island safely. (like... the space time continuum has to be corrected. think back to the future.) i'm glad i can still count on locke to give me a beacon of hope/faith (re: his explanation of why he didn't stop his past-self at the hatch.) he had to go through his pain to be where he is now. well said, locke. also... what is up with sun? has she gone over to the dark side? is she so desperate for revenge against ben that she'll use aaron as a hostage to get to him? oy.

in other news, what is it with celebs in the past week? first patti's infamous diva moment, and now christian bale's 'roid rage.

well, as you all know, i love a great remix of a celebrity going crazy. here's revolucian's christian bale remix:

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