chuck&blair: my otp.

i know, c&b, this season has been trying. i can tell you feel the same way because of those pained looks on your faces. between the odd b-list celebrity cameos and the seemingly endlessly muddied/vague plot lines, it seemed like josh schwartz had finally lost touch with his audience and the show was destined to do as most shows do when the cast goes to college: epic fail. but with this week's episode's fabulous outfits, lack of aforementioned b-list celebs, quick plot tie-ups and chuck/blair massage bedroom scene, things are looking up.

i'm too tired for a realer/faker tally, but i'm sure the folks at the daily intel will have a more than sufficient list up tomorrow. enjoy!

grapplings of a "glorified state school" grad.

after a very long hiatus (i'm sorry, i was in 4 shows and had to graduate from college, and unlike serena i HAD to wear my damn cap.) the blogger is back for the season finales of lost and gossip girl. ok, here goes...

ohh, jj abrams how you tease. i think i'll list what was positive (+) and what was negative (-) about this season finale... and what made me go WTF. (?)
+ meeting jacob, omg THANK YOU.
- he appears to just be some dude who likes eating fish?
? who is the guy who wants to kill jacob?
+ BERNARD AND ROSE ARE BACK!
+ jacob visiting everyone at integral moments in their lives.
- i miss desmond.
+ bye bye juliet.
? john locke's corpse? then who the hell is the guy we've been following?
? can jacob really be killed that easily?
--/??? um... the last moment? this feels like the last moment of season 1, and we all know the fan backlash that resulted from that. (even the nytimes was peeved.)

of course they can't give too much away, they've still got a season to go, but come on. we've been such loyal fans, we deserve some answers.

predictions about next season:

i've been giving this a lot of thought and i honestly have no idea. if the bomb worked then i'm not sure if they'll be on the island in modern time or if they'll be on the plane or what. if they were on the island, then there would be all sorts of conflicts with locke/fake locke and jacob and richard and the new survivors and all that jazz. this is pretty basic, i hope it isn't that easy. i just don't know what they would do if the flight landed safely in LA. so help me if sun and jin don't have a reunion within the first three episodes, i might just burst.

and now for gg. any non-believers in the church of OMFG must have not been watching the final moments of this sesason's gossip girl finale, because i think it would bring a tear to even the most cynical eye.



realer than blair's prom dress being ruined at the cleaners and getting an immediate couture replacement from paris:

• serena didn't wear a cap. just her tassle tied in her hair. plus 2.
• jenny's hair is hideous. this is nothing new, just accurate. plus 3. 
• jenny's ban on headbands. plus 10.
• eleanor prepping blair to win chuck. touching and accurate. plus 15.
• of course chuck traveled to europe to get all of blair's favorite things to present to her when he tells her he loves her. plus 20.
• blair's coat perfectly matches the pink flowers chuck brings to her. plus 10.
• CHUCK TELLS BLAIR HE LOVES HER. MULTIPLE TIMES. AND THEY GIGGLE TOGETHER. PLUS 10000000000000. OMFG.

faker than rufus being able to afford nyu:

the gay boys hacked into GG and don't know her IP address? minus 50, because computer hackers are usually neither that gay nor that cute and would definitely know how to track someone down that they had hacked into so thoroughly.

because it needs repeating, rufus humphrey can't afford yale, but he can afford nyu? the most expensive school in the world? minus 20.

even with his money back dan chooses nyu over yale, his dream school? minus 10.

since when is serena looking for her dad? and she could hire a PI and get that info fast without sketchy carter. minus 5.

lily would never openly disclose her relationship status in public, even to eleanor. minus 5.

serena's plan to expose gossip girl ends with all the kids together at the oak room. minus 20, because that's pretty queer and it would definitely be at buddha bar or something like that.

um, georgina is going to gallatin? fyi - you canNOT just show up at the bursar's office and say oh hi i want this person as my roommate. minus 30.

predictions about next season:

ok so obviously all the kids have to stay in new york, so my current guess is that serena finds out her dad is a professor at nyu and ends up attending, as well. (you know, to get close to him, 'cause that's what college is for.) or maybe it'll be up at columbia, so that nate won't be the lonely little petunia uptown alone. unless chuck ends up going to columbia to hang with nate or nyu to be with blair. goergina and blair will come up with all sorts of schemes to destroy each other's clean slate reputations at nyu, but will end up befriending each other. i hope and pray for more eric plotlines next season.

sawyer named himself "the flower." that's funny.

so this week's episode of LOST was relatively mind-blowing. i know my friends and i had been grappling with the 3-year time difference between the events happening in the real world and the events happening on the island, and last night's episode started to answer our burning questions.

thoughts/theories:

• finally, sawyer/juliet!
• i laughed out loud when sawyer noted richard's use of guyliner.
• i think amy & horace's baby is going  to be someone we know.
• i think paul's ankh necklace has some greater significance, and it has something to do with the statue we briefly saw.
• i agree with the folks over at the lost diary, i think there is a definite reason they are in the 70s on the island with the dharma initiative.

questions:

• who the hell is amy & horace's baby?
• who will sawyer choose... juliet or kate?
• WHERE THE HELL ARE ROSE AND BERNARD?
• when will jin & sun finally see each other again?
• what is the connection between the egyptian symbols (the statue, the ankh necklace) and the island?

all in all, a great week with lots of questions. i just hope some of them eventually get answered.

bye bye, bentham!

lost this week... what can i say? i think i gasped audibly about seven times during this episode. 

thoughts/theories:

• desmond is going to get shipwrecked on the island, just like he did the first time. (only this time he will be with penny and li'l charlie.) this goes back to ms. hawking telling desmond "the island isn't done with you yet" and the fact that they need to recreate the situations under which they first arrived on the island. so it totally makes sense that desmond wasn't on the plane.
• caesar is going to try to be the leader and locke is going to have to fight him. et tu, brute?
• i really want the farraday/hawking/widmore saga to be solved. at this point it is possible that farraday is widmore's son, and that charlotte is widmore's daughter. but i don't think both could be true...
• i think it's so interesting that good and evil keep being skewed. i don't think widmore or ben are all evil, but it's hard to see the good in either of them sometimes.
• i don't know what i think of the theories over at the lost diary... i don't think either theory about locke/ben is true.

questions:

• why did ben kill locke? 
  
• what was it about mentioning ms. hawking that sent ben over the edge?
  
• why did they show walt for .005 seconds? is that all we're ever going to get of him?
• is michael still alive?
• is abbadon gone forever?

it's like where's waldo, except it's me.

so i was an extra on the collegehumor show on mtv. see if you can spot me! (hint: i am wearing two different outfits.)

The CollegeHumor Show - MTV Shows

milking the case of the slumdog frost reader.

so i realized that i never talked about LOST this week. how silly of me! i agree with the folks over at the lost diary, i think this was a strange yet wonderful episode. ms. hawking's pendulum room--aka the lamp post--was creepy and cool, just like her.

thoughts/theories:

• ben didn't tell hurley to be on the plane. hurley had a guitar with him. i think ghost charlie told him to be on the plane, and he was carrying charlie's guitar.
• i think sayid's arrest has something to do with recreating the circumstances of the flight. (re: kate in handcuffs.)
• i still think boone and shannon will be back, mark my words.
• who built the lamp post?

questions:

• where the hell are bernard and rose? i've been wondering it for like 3 episodes now.
• why was jin in a dharma outfit?
• what happened to aaron?
• who beat up ben?

and now for un-LOST related  news: the oscars are on tonight!

oscar predictions:

(the * indicates who i think will be the winner.)

Performance by an actor in a leading role:
Richard Jenkins in "The Visitor"
Frank Langella in "Frost/Nixon"
Sean Penn in "Milk"
Brad Pitt in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" 

*Mickey Rourke in "The Wrestler" 

i wish this was going to sean penn, but it seems like mickey's gonna take it.

Performance by an actor in a supporting role:
Josh Brolin in "Milk"
Robert Downey Jr. in "Tropic Thunder"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Doubt"
*Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight" 
Michael Shannon in "Revolutionary Road" 

sad, but definitely deserves the recognition.

Performance by an actress in a leading role:
Anne Hathaway in "Rachel Getting Married" 
Angelina Jolie in "Changeling" 
Melissa Leo in "Frozen River" 
Meryl Streep in "Doubt" 
*Kate Winslet in "The Reader" 

love of my life. i can't wait to see her win.

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:
Amy Adams in "Doubt" 
*Penélope Cruz in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" 
Viola Davis in "Doubt" 
Taraji P. Henson in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" 
Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler" 

this one i'm not positive about, but i'll be happy with any of these ladies winning.

Best animated feature film of the year:
"Bolt" 
"Kung Fu Panda" 
*"WALL-E"

duh.

Achievement in art direction:
"Changeling" Art Direction: James J. Murakami, Set Decoration: Gary Fettis
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  Art Direction: Donald Graham Burt, Set Decoration: Victor J. Zolfo
"The Dark Knight" Art Direction: Nathan Crowley, Set Decoration: Peter Lando
"The Duchess" Art Direction: Michael Carlin, Set Decoration: Rebecca Alleway
"Revolutionary Road" Art Direction: Kristi Zea, Set Decoration: Debra Schutt

Achievement in cinematography:
"Changeling"  Tom Stern
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  Claudio Miranda
"The Dark Knight"  Wally Pfister
"The Reader"  Chris Menges and Roger Deakins
*"Slumdog Millionaire"  Anthony Dod Mantle

Achievement in costume design:
"Australia" Catherine Martin
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Jacqueline West
"The Duchess" Michael O'Connor
"Milk" Danny Glicker
"Revolutionary Road" Albert Wolsky

Achievement in directing:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  David Fincher
"Frost/Nixon"  Ron Howard
"Milk"  Gus Van Sant
"The Reader"  Stephen Daldry
*"Slumdog Millionaire"  Danny Boyle

i think daldry and van sant deserve recognition, but this is just a landslide.

Best documentary feature:
"The Betrayal (Nerakhoon)"
"Encounters at the End of the World"
"The Garden"
"Man on Wire" 
*"Trouble the Water"

Best documentary short subject:
"The Conscience of Nhem En"
"The Final Inch"
"Smile Pinki"
*"The Witness - From the Balcony of Room 306"

Achievement in film editing:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
"The Dark Knight"  Lee Smith
"Frost/Nixon"  Mike Hill and Dan Hanley
"Milk"  Elliot Graham
*"Slumdog Millionaire"  Chris Dickens

Best foreign language film of the year:
"The Baader Meinhof Complex"  - Germany
"The Class"   - France
"Departures"   - Japan
"Revanche"   - Austria
*"Waltz with Bashir"  - Israel

Achievement in makeup:
*"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Greg Cannom
"The Dark Knight"  John Caglione, Jr. and Conor O'Sullivan
"Hellboy II: The Golden Army"  Mike Elizalde and Thom Floutz

it should be "the dark knight."

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score):
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  Alexandre Desplat
"Defiance"  James Newton Howard
"Milk"  Danny Elfman
*"Slumdog Millionaire"  A.R. Rahman
"WALL-E"  Thomas Newman

i'm relatively obsessed with the soundtrack.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song):
"Down to Earth" from "WALL-E"  Music by Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman, Lyric by Peter Gabriel
*"Jai Ho" from "Slumdog Millionaire"  Music by A.R. Rahman, Lyric by Gulzar
"O Saya" from "Slumdog Millionaire"  Music and Lyric by A.R. Rahman and Maya Arulpragasam

Best motion picture of the year:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" 
"Frost/Nixon" 
"Milk" 
"The Reader" 
*"Slumdog Millionaire" 

it should be "the reader" or "milk," but it won't be.

Best animated short film:
"La Maison en Petits Cubes"
"Lavatory - Lovestory"
"Oktapodi" 
*"Presto" 
"This Way Up"

everytime i watch "wall-e," i get excited to watch "presto" first.

Best live action short film:
"Auf der Strecke (On the Line)" 
"Manon on the Asphalt" 
"New Boy" 
*"The Pig"
"Spielzeugland (Toyland)"

Achievement in sound editing:
*"The Dark Knight" Richard King
"Iron Man"  Frank Eulner and Christopher Boyes
"Slumdog Millionaire"  Tom Sayers
"WALL-E"  Ben Burtt and Matthew Wood
"Wanted"  Wylie Stateman

Achievement in sound mixing:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  David Parker, Michael Semanick, Ren Klyce and Mark Weingarten
"The Dark Knight"  Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo and Ed Novick
*"Slumdog Millionaire"  Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty
"WALL-E"  Tom Myers, Michael Semanick and Ben Burtt
"Wanted"  Chris Jenkins, Frank A. Montaño and Petr Forejt

Achievement in visual effects:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron
*"The Dark Knight" Nick Davis, Chris Corbould, Tim Webber and Paul Franklin
"Iron Man" John Nelson, Ben Snow, Dan Sudick and Shane Mahan

Adapted screenplay:
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  Screenplay by Eric Roth, Screen story by Eric Roth and Robin Swicord

"Doubt"  Written by John Patrick Shanley
"Frost/Nixon"  Screenplay by Peter Morgan
*"The Reader"  Screenplay by David Hare
"Slumdog Millionaire"  Screenplay by Simon Beaufoy

let's hear it for the playwrights reppin' at the oscars! repruhzent!

Original screenplay:
"Frozen River"  Written by Courtney Hunt
"Happy-Go-Lucky"  Written by Mike Leigh
"In Bruges"  Written by Martin McDonagh
*"Milk"  Written by Dustin Lance Black
"WALL-E"  Screenplay by Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Original story by Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter

if the people in the academy read the new york times review of "wall-e" then it would win. it is absolutely brilliant.

a modern analysis of "hi-diddle-dee-dee."

Hi-diddle-dee-dee
An actor's life for me
A high silk hat and a silver cane (alright, the hat sounds cool. the cane is just silly and superfluous.)
A watch of gold with a diamond chain (clearly, you're confusing being an actor with being a rapper, pinocchio.)

Hi-diddle-dee-day
An actor's life is gay (fact.)
It's great to be a celebrity (i don't know, some have major issues with privacy infringement. and not all actors are celebrities.)
An actor's life for me

Hi-diddle-dee-dum
An actor's life is fun

Hi-diddle-dee-dee
An actor's life for me
A wax mustache and a beaver coat (now that's just ridiculous.)
A pony cart and a billy goat (why would an actor want a pony cart?! or a billy goat?! perhaps the modern equivalent would be a porsche boxer and a small puppy.)

Hi-diddle-dee-dum
An actor's life is fun
You wear your hair in a pompadour (i don't even know what that means.)
You ride around in a coach and four
You stop and buy out a candy store (ok, i'll admit, that sounds pretty cool.)
An actor's life for me!

Hi diddle dee dee
An actor's life for me
A high silk hat and a silver cane
A watch of gold and a diamond chain (i thought we figured this out already, pinoc: your career choice would more aptly be RAPPER. pinocizzle.)

Hi diddle dee doo
You sleep till after two (LIES. i'd say the average wake up time is 8am.)
You promenade a big cigar (no, you huddle outside of the tisch building smoking marlboros.)
You tour the world in a private car (no, you tour the city on the subway.)
You dine on chicken and caviar (no, you live off of coffee and fruit from the street vendors. or overpay at karen's.)
An actor's life for me! (fact.)

single and fabulous... exclamation point!

if you haven't seen this movie yet, and you are single, do the chick thing: go see it today. it's adorable and funny and has some real moments that you and your friends will turn to each other and say, "OMG YOU KNOW I DO THAT!" in this world, guys who ignore you actually don't like you. when you dramatically break a mirror, you have to sweep up the mess you just made. and sometimes, people surprise you... and you can surprise yourself.

whether you see the movie or not, take today to remember this carrie bradshaw quote, "so maybe it won't look like you thought it would in high school, but it's important to remember that love is possible. anything is possible. this is new york."

happy valentine's day.

come look at the freaks.

in my disability & sexuality class, we've been discussing the history of the freak show in america. most of the readings have made it seem as though the age of the freak show has passed, but watching TLC i would beg to differ. the program line-up is as follows:

little people big world.



mermaid girl.



pregnant man.



tree man.



the woman with giant legs.



it appears to me that the freak show is alive and well in america. now we just guise it in the form of reality television, or put it on the learning channel and expect that people will watch "for educational purposes." people are watching these shows because these disabled people are the modern day equivalents of the bearded lady and the sword-swallowing man. they can watch unattached, from a distance, in the comfort of their own homes. forget coney island, TLC is where the real freak show is. on the one hand, these people obviously wanted to have their stories told on tv, or they wouldn't be there. on the other, they are on tv solely because of their disabilities. (i mean, come on, look at the titles of the shows. they literally are the titles of acts in a freak show.) i wonder if TLC thinks that these shows will increase understanding and empathy, or fear and curiosity. or all of the above. either way, these shows are on the air for one reason: americans love a good freak show.

mama who time travelled me.

for the first time this season, i was thrilled by this week's episode of LOST. first of all, i decided to attend the LOST party @ professor thom's.  each week, there is a different LOST drink special. this week, the special was "whenever anyone sees a ghost or time travels, everyone gets a free shot." this happened to be a week where there were about 10+ time travel moments. thank you, professor thom & jj abrams. second of all, the episode itself was pretty great. i am thrilled that my faraday/hawking theory was proven, and that my charlotte/widmore seems to be so close to being proven, as well. (and from talking to some fellow LOSTphiles @ the party, it seems people think there might be a link between those two families.... ponderous indeed.) also, i love jin. he was the best part of this episode, by far. 

things i am curious about: 

• what is the temple that the monster is guarding? 
  
• how are they gonna bust hurley out of jail? 
  
• is sun's daughter going to go back to the island, too?
  
• is ben actually planning to kill charlotte for his revenge against widmore, not penny?
• what was claire's mom actually investigating? (last week's episode, but i'm still curious.)
• where is claire?!
• will any of the characters encounter their past selves on the island?

in other news... dear cwtv, why do you keep depriving your fans of our beloved GG? i need my chuck/blair fix for the week!

all's fair in love and scripted television drama.

this week on the greatest show of our time, the plot lines were shallow, the homages were stale, but the coats were fabulous. i desperately missed eric, eleanor waldorf, and any semblance of a chuck/blair plot.

let's see...

truer than a PTA meeting about the abuse of the internet:

• yeah, ok, dan would totally have the hots for the infantile english teacher. womp womp. plus 2.
• i am going to disagree with nymag, of course dorota would be wearing her maid cap even while disguised. plus 5.
• i don't know about your high school, but in mine there were PTA meetings for literally everything. nasty things being written on the internet? obvs. plus 10.
• all the guys in high school would totally be applauding the dorky guy for getting with a teacher. plus 10.
• OMFG, chuck + v for reals???? plus 20 if and only if this is a real, undoctored photo. otherwise i still think he's gayer than a picnic basket.

faker than blair ever suggesting oberlin as a viable college choice, even as a joke:

• serena's writing is "nuanced" and "filled with observations of the world around her"? yeah, if the reason she held off on handing it in was that she made her private english tutor write it for her. minus 10.
• the school has always known about the terrible things being written on gossip girl, but never did anything because "the kids didn't complain"? umm... no, i don't think so. minus 30.
• how the hell do both serena and dan know where rachel lives? minus 50.
• why the hell would a teacher accused of inappropriate relations with a student be out at night in a restaurant alone with said student? minus 100.
• re: the final scene of dan/rachel... um... is he 18 yet? minus 5.
• ok i know this is a tv show, but how is it that serena always manages to call dan .003498435 seconds too late to stop him from doing something stupid with some probably crazy, oversexed chick? minus 20.
• chuck's eyes wide shut plot line. what was up with that chick holding the huge tapered candle?! minus 50.

now on to my other tv obsession... LOST. i've gotta agree with the folks over at the lost diary, this season has been rather disappointing. i was, however, thrilled that jin is still alive. i still think my theory about farraday's mom is true, but that wasn't explored at all in this episode. i now also think that miles is dr. candle's son (re: the baby in the first episode of this season) and i also think that charlotte is widmore's illegitimate daughter. i think both of them were either born, conceived, or lived on the island when they were babies. i was also thrilled to see young danielle rousseau on the island! i wonder if the fate of rousseau, the child she is carrying (re: alex), and jin might somehow change now that they have interacted back in time. what i'm thinking will ultimately happen is that all flight 815ers are going to have to be alive/reunited in order to time travel to the present and leave the island safely. (like... the space time continuum has to be corrected. think back to the future.) i'm glad i can still count on locke to give me a beacon of hope/faith (re: his explanation of why he didn't stop his past-self at the hatch.) he had to go through his pain to be where he is now. well said, locke. also... what is up with sun? has she gone over to the dark side? is she so desperate for revenge against ben that she'll use aaron as a hostage to get to him? oy.

in other news, what is it with celebs in the past week? first patti's infamous diva moment, and now christian bale's 'roid rage.

well, as you all know, i love a great remix of a celebrity going crazy. here's revolucian's christian bale remix:

approval matrix: january 31st.

in case you haven't discovered this website already, go there and have some presidential fun. i give it a highbrow brilliant rating on my approval matrix.

as i'm sure you all have heard (literally), patti lupone luPWNed an audience member who was taking pictures during gypsy. (highbrow despicable.) well, here's a little lowbrow brilliant remix:

cheer up, charlie hume.

sadly, there was no new GG this week. but in the past week that i haven't written (i've been quite a busy gal.) there have been THREE new episodes of LOST. the season premiere, consisting of two episodes, was a bit underwhelming. i felt that everything that happened my friends and i had predicted not only in the eight months we've been waiting for a new episode, but in last season's finale. a big womp womp to jj abrams, statler and waldorf style: what was that? it was pointless! exposition! were the writers LOST for the past eight months?! DOH HO HO.

but then came the third episode, which--while not up to LOST's usual best--was an improvement from the first two episodes of the season. we got about three super cool OMG moments, but aside from that nothing much happened. the only thing that made it extremely watchable was that it was a desmond centered plot, and desmond/penny are LOST's OTP. (totally loved that they named their baby charlie. let's all have a collective awww.) but the rest of the episode? i mean come on, since when do we care about charlotte? yeah, i sort of like farraday and his nerdlove crush is cute, but her dying isn't exactly a cliffhanger/shocking ending. however i do have an interesting theory about farraday's mom that the folks over at the lost diary seem to share with me: that she is ms. hawking. i guess we'll see pretty soon if our theory is correct.

and now for something completely different:

the far-reaching impact of blair waldorf, and other stories.

aretha franklin, clearly a fan of the greatest show of our time, channeled blair waldorf with her fabulous hat at the inauguration. A+ for being so fashion forward, aretha.

speaking of GG, last night's episode was rather disappointing:

realer than death by dorota:

• eric was not only the one most completely grossed out by lilly & rufus's sexcapades, he was also the only one who openly complained about it. plus 10.
  
• jack bass has an obvious coke addiction. plus 5.
• i'm fairly certain it's common knowledge that you can't have pets in freshman dorms. i guess it's implied that this dog will be dorota's permanent responsibility. plus 5.

faker than lilly's deus ex machina moment with her lawyer at the opera:

• the orchestra tuned up and then the opera didn't start for another 45 minutes. minus 5.
  
• since when do people get emailed and/or text messaged about their college acceptances or rejections?! minus 50.
• why the hell is the new teacher at least 5 years younger than the rest of the cast? minus 20.
• where did nate's money magically come back from? minus 10.

and for those of who still not converted to the church of OMFG, something completely different:

oh... and check this one out, too.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

approval matrix: january 14th.

currently, my activities have mirrored the approval matrix in NYmag, filled with highbrow brilliance and lowbrow despicability and everywhere in-between.

while i don't have a super cool chart, i'll qualify the events of my days along this matrix:

at the bottom of the lowbrow despicable is the current new york weather. what the hell, global warming?! currently it "feels like 5 degrees" in manhattan. if this kind of weather were an illegal offense (and it should be), it would be like the current weather is to manhattan as madoff is to every wealthy jew in south beach: taking us for all we're worth, and leaving us shivering.

at the top of the highbrow brilliance is sanaz ghajarrahimi's production of romeo and juliet:



the show, happening this weekend at the access theater, is a fascinating new exploration of the story mostly through movement. i'd recommend it to anyone looking for an hour and a half sexy, full, and vibrant version of the beloved tale of star-cross'd lovers.


next is the highbrow brilliant-yet-made-me-feel-despicable, in the form of the film synecdoche, new york.



i am a huge fan of charlie kaufman, jon brion, and philip seymour hoffman, so the prospect of the three working together harmoniously tickled me pink. the first half of the film, i felt like it was an eternal sunshine-y romp: a mix of genres, but mostly a comedy about some hypochondriac guy who might at some point actually die. but somewhere mid-movie the genre radically changed and i started to feel confused and lost and sad and alone. this was, i suppose, sort of the purpose of the film. and i suppose i felt exactly what the main character was feeling. one of my friends remarked as we left the theatre, "i just didn't see the point," and i guess that is kaufman's conclusion of the film in a nutshell. we strive for brilliance, beauty and originality in a world plagued with inauthenticity and ugliness... but at the same time in striving for authenticity we make ourselves different versions of ourselves, and therefore inauthentic. (not to mention that we miss out on the beauty of reality by trying to constantly recreate its gritty ugliness.) it's dizzying even trying to put it into words, but kaufman somehow manages to put it on the screen. i think his use of chronology and his exploration of the underbelly of human passion and loneliness are painfully and brilliantly unique and honest.

next up we have the highbrow despicable, in the form of the club bungalow 8.

fascinated by the reference made to said club in an episode of our beloved sex and the city, my lady friends and i ventured to the far west with an invitation to an exclusive party. (no, we didn't have a key, but i WISH we had needed one to get in!) warned of the scrutiny we would face upon trying to enter, and told how busy it would be, we arrived super early and super sultry. we were the first to arrive. i suppose we were lowbrow brilliant for that. however our host(esse)s, the fabulous malik so chic and cameron nico, were highbrow brilliant in their sasha fierce finest.

we did, however, get a photo taken of us by a hipster photoblogger, which has always been a life goal of mine. (note to self: check that off the list.)

after rocking out to the best dance music ever (re: beyoncé & britney) and paying WAY too much for drinks, we decided to head home for some ray's pizza (lowbrow brilliant.) & late night girl talk (both the dj and the activity... both highbrow brilliant.)

call me ishmael.

well... here i am. i've been a livejournal gal since freshman year of high school--with a small yet rather infamous hiatus--but now in my senior year of college i am dappling in this blogger universe.

i figure the blogs will have different purposes: livejournal will continue to be for rants, raves, & plugs for shows i'm currently in, and this will perhaps revert to what i initially intended with my livejournal: silly observations about the everyday, fun facts, my favorite discoveries from the internet, pop culture references, and the battle of the stuff.

ok, here goes.

for those of you obsessed with the greatest show of our time, you must read the weekly episode dish.

some highlights from this week, or as true as jack and chuck both knowing cures for the clap: 

• Blair, who acts kind of like an ass in this episode, still has some good lines — including, but not limited to: "Tuna fish? Why does he make it so hard for himself?" "Spare me those expressive eyebrows, I can't wait until you get Botox," and "It's so hard finding obedient minions." Plus 4.

• Chuck had éclairs reserved for him. Plus 2, because sometimes it's the small, high-calorie things.

• Dan compares his and Serena's situation to Flannery O'Conner, Toni Morrison, and the Russian aristocrats "before they all became hemophiliacs." Serena says it's just like Clueless and Dan's just like, "Aw," and kisses her, because after all, she is like nine levels hotter than him. Plus 3.
  

as fake as the bright pink peonies blair threw at chuck's feet:

• Gossip Girl blogs: "While I'm always a fan of star-crossed lovers, at least Romeo and Juliet didn't share DNA." Minus 30 because DAN AND SERENA DON'T SHARE DNA! STOP MANUFACTURING THIS CONTROVERSY!

• Eric would have told Little J. to chop off that idiotic little side braid with the bow. Meanwhile, Chris really wishes he'd had a gay bestie to do that to his rattail in middle school. Minus 2.

and for those of you not so GG-inclined (what the hell is wrong with you?!), here's something to brighten your day...

background info to help you fully enjoy/experience this video: some dude was on LSD. his friends recorded him talking about... nothing. then, they animated it. enjoy!